Q&A: Understanding Domestic Violence in Indian Country

Four out of five American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN) women experience violence in their lifetimes. For those women, especially those living in the remote corners of Indian Country, resources are scarce. Among the 575 federally recognized tribes, there are only 60 domestic violence shelters throughout all of Indian Country, and jurisdictional confusion means many survivors don’t know where to turn for help.

StrongHearts Native Helpline, a 24/7 domestic and sexual violence hotline for Native people, fills that gap. All calls, texts, and messages to the hotline are confidential and anonymous. Founded in 2017 as a collaboration between the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center and the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the organization has received more than  85,000 calls, chats, and texts and provided more than 26,000 referrals to direct domestic violence service providers.

Native News Online Senior Health Equity Editor Elyse Wild spoke with  StrongHearts CEO Lori Jump (Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians) and  Deputy Executive Officer Rachel Carr-Shunk (Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians) about the most dangerous misconceptions around domestic and sexual violence; how trauma affects our ability to recall violent memories; and how to support a loved one in an abusive relationship.

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

What are some of the most dangerous misconceptions people have about domestic violence and sexual violence, especially when it comes to Native people?

Lori: I think one of the most dangerous misconceptions is that our memory is perfect. If you look at the psychology of trauma and how your brain remembers things, trauma forces your brain to do things differently.

What you remember immediately following a traumatic event is not necessarily what you’re going to remember by the time two or three weeks have passed. By the time there’s a trial or a police report, you remember more, and it might be a little bit different than what you said immediately afterward.

People say, “Well, that’s not what you said.”

I’m thinking of this particularly because of the Cornell case right now. We know that Jane Doe is being attacked for saying something different or not exactly the same.

Your brain is protective in that way. Trauma impacts your brain, especially with sexual assault. It blocks things. They don’t come back right away.

If you look at law enforcement, when they do an investigation into a law enforcement officer’s behavior, say an officer-involved shooting, they don’t do those interviews immediately. They wait a couple of days. That’s standard practice because they know your brain is not — I don’t want to say it’s not reliable immediately following a trauma — but you’re going to remember more as you get further away from that trauma.

For me, it’s such a dangerous practice to say, “Well, she changed her story,” or “That’s not what she told me.”

We hear it all the time with survivors of domestic violence and sexual violence. We hold people accountable for things they might say at a time when they are consumed by trauma.

Rachel: I think one of the most dangerous misconceptions is that it’s easy for a survivor to walk away from a violent relationship.

When we think of a violent relationship, we’re like, “Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone accept that?”

We’re taught from a young age a lot of rules about social behaviors, but with domestic violence, the power and control dynamic is so significant that there are a number of reasons why survivors don’t leave.

The emotional abuse and emotional harm caused when an abusive person is diminishing someone’s value, name-calling, isolating them from family and friends, isolating them from finances.

Then you think of finances alone, the current economic times and how hard it is to find any kind of housing, let alone stable housing that’s safe and away from your perpetrator.

It’s difficult to leave even when all of the circumstances are great. There’s housing available, you have finances for an attorney and you have child care set up.

When you think about American Indians and Alaska Natives, our resources are extremely limited.

Domestic violence shelters are important for certain survivors’ safety so they can get out of an abusive home. Tribal shelters are severely limited in number. I think we have fewer than 60 across the United States, whereas we have more than 1,400 non-Native shelters.

When you think about access to shelters, that’s such a disproportionate level of access for our survivors who are seeking culturally specific support or resources they identify with as Native people.

The misconception that it’s easy to leave and get away from that violence is dangerous. It’s not easy. The most dangerous time in a survivor’s life is when they’re trying to leave an abusive relationship.

Why is leaving an abusive relationship often the most dangerous time for a survivor?

Lori: When you start looking at ways to leave and making preparations, you’re challenging that power dynamic.

When you challenge their power, they tend to escalate. What they’ve done in the past is going to get worse. They’re trying to maintain that sense of power over their partner, and they end up doing more than they might have done in the past.

Rachel: A lot of the power and control is about threatening that power. “If you do this, now you’re going to get it,” or “These things that you care about are going to be harmed,” because you’re challenging that power.

When I think about American Indians and Alaska Natives, we have to think about our access to law enforcement and the criminal justice system, which can be protective in a lot of environments.

But most people who live on tribal land or trust land don’t have the same access to justice that non-Native people do outside tribal communities.

Our justice systems are unfortunately very flawed due to things outside our control, like Supreme Court decisions that have limited tribal governments’ ability to provide safety and accountability for their communities.

You might think, “I can call law enforcement because I was assaulted, and law enforcement and the court system should be able to hold this person accountable. They committed a crime.”

That’s not always the case in Indian Country.

If your tribe hasn’t implemented special domestic violence criminal jurisdiction, and your partner is a non-Native person who’s assaulting you, you have to rely on outside jurisdictions to hold that offender accountable.

Unfortunately, we know that doesn’t happen as frequently as it needs to.

When should someone call the StrongHearts Native Helpline?

Lori: At any point. A lot of what our advocates do is educational.

Some people may not think what they’re experiencing is violence. That’s important because when you think about domestic violence, everybody thinks about the physical. Physical abuse is horrific, but it’s one small piece of this pattern of behaviors.

A lot of times people will say, “I don’t know if I should even be calling here because he only does this,” or “It’s not that bad. She does that.”

It’s about understanding that domestic violence encompasses a whole range of behaviors, from financial abuse to isolation, emotional abuse, physical abuse and cultural abuse.

There’s an entire list of behaviors that an abusive partner gets to choose from.

People can call anytime they have questions about whether their relationship is healthy or problematic, all the way to when they say, “I know this is bad, and I know I have to get out.”

I would say anytime they have questions about their relationships.

Rachel: Even if it’s not a survivor calling, it could be someone who knows a survivor. Maybe it’s my sister, my friend or my neighbor who’s experiencing violence, and I want to talk through and learn more about how to support them.

That’s another way our advocates can provide support to people who are reaching out.

We know we have some of the highest rates of domestic violence in our communities. Our advocates are ready to provide critical peer support, whether it’s someone experiencing abuse or someone who cares for or loves someone experiencing abuse.

We even have individuals reach out who may be using abusive behaviors themselves. They can talk through that and see what’s unhealthy, what’s healthy and what’s abusive, so they can consider some of the behaviors or tactics they might be using that could be problematic in their relationship.

What happens when someone calls the helpline? How do advocates help survivors navigate their options?

Rachel: A lot of what our advocates do is the initial crisis response, whether it’s grounding techniques or breathing techniques to help calm the individual down.

Then we go through some of the resources we’re aware of. We have a resource provider database that we can connect individuals directly to, or we can give them the information if they want to call themselves.

We also have safety planning, and safety planning looks different for everyone.

It could be when you’re ready to go through with a personal protection order, or it could be, “I’m in this household, and I don’t have an opportunity for the abusive person to leave, but I do need to stay safe in my home. What does that look like?”

There are different safety plans for everyone’s circumstances. That’s something a lot of our advocates do once the survivor is ready.

It really is driven by the survivor and where they’re at. We always say we meet our survivors where they’re at.

Native News Online: What advice do you have for people supporting a loved one who is experiencing abuse, especially if they’re frustrated and wondering why that person doesn’t just leave?

Lori: Something that’s really important that we don’t think about is asking why.

When you ask somebody why, it almost implies fault or guilt or responsibility.

“Why didn’t you leave? Why didn’t you call me? Why are you staying?”

All of those questions are unsupportive to a survivor. You’re putting them in a situation where they have to explain what they’re doing when maybe all they’re doing is surviving.

Don’t make those assumptions. Don’t ask those types of questions. No matter whether you agree with their plan, support it.

We think about why they don’t leave when we don’t know the reasons. There are so many reasons, and a lot of times there are things people want to do but don’t currently have the capability to do.

It’s not just, “What do you want to do?” It’s, “What do you think you can do?” Because those are often two different things.

What could be a first step?

What are some of the ways abuse can continue after a survivor leaves a relationship?

Lori: There was a study done recently, and it’s not really out there publicly yet, about how many abusive partners use systems against their survivors.

One question asked whether someone had ever been falsely reported to Child Protective Services.

Rachel: It’s about using any kind of system — housing, financial assistance, food stamps. There are ways an abusive person could impact someone’s access to food stamps or child care.

Post-separation power and control still exist even when the relationship is no longer active.

An abusive person is holding on to that power as hard as they can because once that power is gone, they lose the ability to control the person they were with.

That particular question, I think, was related to falsely claiming substance use.

If you’re an abusive person and you’re telling systems, the public or someone’s employer that this person is a drug user or an alcoholic and shouldn’t get certain resources, you’re attacking that person in a way that’s causing just as much harm as other abusive tactics.

Lori: As Rachel said, these are attempts to maintain that control and force you back into the relationship.

If you can’t get housing because they interfered with your application with a landlord, or if they reported you to CPS and you had your children removed, all of those things can happen.

And often there is no legal recourse.

You’re left having to prove to CPS that you’re not a bad parent, that you’re not an alcoholic or that you’re not an addict.

It can be really frustrating.

Rachel: That’s one of the many reasons some people decide they’re not ready to leave that relationship, because all of those barriers are in place.

How does StrongHearts address concerns about privacy, particularly in close-knit tribal communities where survivors may know people working within local systems?

Rachel: I think that’s what separates StrongHearts from a lot of other organizations. We have that anonymous feature because we understand that a lot of our tribal communities and tribal governments are very small.

We’re related to people or we know people. I go into my Indian Health Service facility, and I guarantee I’ll see a relative. It’s almost certain.

That anonymous feature through chat, text or phone advocacy allows someone to talk with a person who shares their Indigenous identity and understands those things.

We also understand that someone might not want anyone in their tribal community to know they’re experiencing abuse or that their sister is experiencing abuse.

That’s such a critical feature for StrongHearts, especially in those initial conversations when someone may just want to talk and get peer support.

If they are ready to access direct services, such as shelter or transportation, that’s where we can connect them to resources in their communities.

What reforms would you like to see to provide more help and support for victims of domestic and sexual violence in Indian Country?

Lori: Every system needs training.

It’s not just law enforcement officers who initially respond, because we know that only about 30% to 40% of people even report to law enforcement.

All the other systems need to understand.

In Indian Country, jurisdiction is such a huge issue and negatively impacts survivors.

We look at how many cases a U.S. attorney takes up. Very few. That’s the only recourse in many cases, unless you’re in a Public Law 280 state, and then you’re dependent on local authorities.

They often don’t take up those cases either.

I think it’s impossible to pick one reform.

Rachel: My answer is very similar to Lori’s.

Understanding the impacts of trauma would be so important for criminal justice systems, social services and society in general.

We need to understand how trauma impacts children and adults and how we interact with the world when we’re facing those significant experiences.

We also need resources. We talked about the limited number of shelters and housing options across Indian Country.

We’re in a sad state when we have such limited housing available in general.

We need systems that understand trauma happens, trauma impacts people, and it impacts their ability to find safe and affordable housing.

Like Lori mentioned, it’s literally every system we interact with because they all intersect.

We need an overhaul.

If a Native woman reading this realizes she’s in an abusive relationship but doesn’t feel ready to leave, what would you say directly to her?

Lori: She’s not alone. She’s not responsible. She should not feel shame for what has happened to her.

She’s not responsible, and she’s not alone.

There are people out here who understand, who care and who want to help.

Rachel: Echoing what Lori said, we believe you.

A lot of times people don’t have that experience in our society.

People say, “He was such a nice man to his last partner,” or “She was a great partner,” or “She’s a great boss.”

People don’t believe victims when they come forward, when they are ready to come forward.

It is incredibly brave to come forward.

StrongHearts Native Helpline is available 24/7/365 by calling or texting 1-844-762-8483 or clicking on the chat icon at strongheartshelpline.org.